Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Gentlemen and why no gentlewoman?
Somehow gentlemen seems a funny name for men who are often nothing of the sort
How many men today qualify for this term?
Meanwhile the other term ladies is also a misnomer for many of the women being called by this description
We slowly alter our language by using terms that over time lose their original meanings
This leads us to have very different understandings of what is said in different communities and parts of the planet
It becomes ever more difficult to know precisely what the other person is really saying
Add in the number of people who do not speak your own language as their first or even second language and we have problems
How many of the problems today are caused by different understandings of what people really mean?
No one really knows although it must be considerable
Maybe time for all of us to stop taking it for granted that when we speak the other person hears what we want them to hear
In particular when men speak with women we need to be attentive that we are indeed communicating accurately
As most know men and women manage to misunderstand each other with alarming frequency
This miscommunication causes all sorts of problems often leading to serious situations
While it is not always possible to be accurate or find the right words most of us have enough words
to say what we want
The problem lies in our perceptions, perceptions formed on faulty or poor information
When we type into our computers we pay attention as our electronic world will not accept sloppy inputs
Or if they are sloppy then we do not get the information we want or pass on the communications we intend
So why in communicating with each other do we not pay the same degree of attention?
The same respect
In communicating with each other too often we are sloppy, not paying attention
Not really listening
Not giving importance to the other
The consequences can be dire if less dramatic than a car crash caused by our inattention
They can be life changing like divorce, relationship breakdown, loss of money and so on
Simply the effort you put in to many aspects of your life is often equal to what you get out
So why not put the most effort into relationships, which are usually the most important
challenge in life?.
Friday, September 26, 2008
Did we descend from the apes
On the contrary they descended from our ancestors
No way did we come from one little old lady in East Africa
Our race, the fifth, started in what is today called the Gobi desert
Two simple statements of fact
And how many of you reading this have ever challenged those two ideas of our descent from apes and our race emanating from East Africa?
Even thought about it
Yet these are two ideas central to our understanding of ourselves
Essentially we are living in basic error about where we come from
And this in turn puts a different twist and slant on much else
Your life can be as dull or interesting as you want to make it
Accepting our cultural stories without question limits your life
The truth is that your life has more peace o f mind once you know and understand the truth
And this truth has been handed down through the ages and is known as the ageless or perennial wisdom
Distorted for different reasons by so many from religious leaders to various interest groups to scientists and politicians all with their own agendas to promote
Only soft echoes of the truth live on today
Echoes that resonate in all of us
That small voice that tells us that life must have more meaning than this
Must have a truth to it somewhere a little more coherent than the present stories we are given
Yes it does
Start looking by challenging these stories
Just because "everybody" knows something does not make it true
Once upon a time "everybody" knew that the earth was flat and that the sun revolved around our little planet
To change that understanding took centuries
To change our understanding of where we came from will probably take just as long as it took to understand that the world is not flat
Funny how history repeats itself
And we sometimes wonder how could they have thought the world was flat?
Were they stupid?
No they just didn't want to listen to those who said that it was not true
And no we did not descend from apes nor did we all come out of Africa
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Yes just one little thing
And our good feelings go out the window
Like they were never here
The end of everything
Day spoilt, life changed ruined even, or so it feels
How can we be that fragile?
Sure it might be bad news
Maybe even very bad news
Something is wrong though when we seriously over react
When our balance with everything else goes because one little thing goes pear shaped
When something hits us we must be able to develop the skill not to fly off the handle or get angry
Nothing goes smoothly for ever
Life might be good for a while it might even be pretty stable
But one of the guarantees about today's world is that nothing but nothing is going to be very stable for very long
And that includes your life
Your work, your everything
So be warned for sure something else will go wrong
That's the way it is on Planet Earth at this time
Things are not stable but you can for sure learn to be more balanced
Put things in better perspective
Take a deep breath and understand that somehow life will move on
It will take effort and or time to sort things out, but yes things will continue one way or another
So finding our balance again protects us from lurching into depression
One little thing might be all it takes to get you going into one of your moods
Learn to find one little pleasure in your life to get you out again, look for one, find one
Immerse yourself in something where you have to be totally involved
Let go of frustration learn to live with disappointment
Life has many up and downs
Downs are as natural as ups although we would all love to believe that this is not really so
It is so therefore just as you learnt control with discipline and will power so learn to let go
This process begins to give you a balance in your emotions
Starts to help you calm down, letting go is a skill so learn it
Learn through deep breaths when things hit you
Learn to enjoy nature
Try yoga and meditation
All of them can help give you the ability to fight letting that "one little thing" set you off again
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Do you know who to talk to?
Who can you turn to?
Who can you trust?
Are you introvert or extrovert?
Do you normally discuss your problems with others?
Or do you bottle things inside?
Lots of questions
Lots of permutations
Important though because as they say "no man is an island"
Meaning there are times when we all need help
Another different point of view
Will you get it?
Depends to a large extent on how those you ask see you
If you frequently bullshit and exaggerate
Then guess what, they will tend to believe that you are probably exaggerating again
If you seldom or never share then how will they know what or who you really are?
A price to be paid then for how you are in normal times
Consider this as payback for your behaviour
If you have created a certain image in peoples minds then this is what they will respond to
We are making the point here that how people see us is how they will respond to us when we are in trouble and need help
All of us need help from time to time and usually there are only a limited number of people we can turn to for help
Determine that from today on that you will present yourself in a pleasant and honest way
Cut out the games you play
And of course before you can do this you need to know your own games
The games you play not only with the world but with yourself
Not easy because you have been doing this all your life
For a start begin considering the needs of others before yourself
Can you do this?
Needing help one day is less likely if you are known to be selfish and egotistical
Yes what goes round does come around
So the nicer you are the more likely others will be there for you in your hour of need
Help starts with us helping ourselves
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Is our emotion for our own loss?
Or for our own self pity?For being left behind?
No matter goodbye however said is in a sense to acknowledgin change
A change in our lives when someone we care about leaves
After they have left how do we feel?
How do we remember them?
How do we carry on?
We can hold on to the memory, but it's tough
Better maybe to let go
Trying to hold that emotion doesn't work over time
Get on with your own life with pleasure
Whether or not they are coming back life is to be lived
Holding on to a sad memory is not helpful
We might all do it sometimes
Decide to move on decide to be busy
Choose not to endlessly think about that person even if you are both in love it is not so clever
Live your own life for that is what we are all here to do
Say goodbye turn around and let go
Derive pleasure from the simple things in your life
Pleasure from being alive
Pleasure that the other one exists and is out there somewhere doing the same maybe
Time passes quicker when we are busy and involved
It drags more when we live in our minds
And anyway goodbye is just a prelude to another hallo
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Most Muscovite's do not secretly want to be Europeans they are quite happy being Russian
Moscow stands alone there is no Paris next door or Frankfurt up the road
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Those who are confirmed as being depressed by their doctors at least know they are diagnosed depressed
Others suffer from depression but do not really understand or accept being depressed
More are depressed from time to time
Yet others confuse depression with the state of the world or business or their relationship
In other words depression comes in all shapes and sizes
Have you been feeling sad, down in the dumps?
Do you still enjoy (your job, sports, hobbies)?
Do you often feel tired?
Do you have trouble sleeping or do you sleep too much?
Have you been gaining or losing weight?
Do you often feel down on yourself, or that everything is your fault?
Do you have trouble making decisions or concentrating on your work?
Do you often feel agitated or like you can barely move?
Do you ever feel that life is not worth living?
Depression is a tough illness and yes it can be called an illness
No pill can take you out of it although some might claim to do so
At best allopathic drugs can smooth you out
Unfortunately constant usage frequently brings other problems sometimes worse than the illness itself
Depression is so hard to get out of because once in a downward spiral it is tough to reverse
It is possible though and here is a thought
All depression is at root fear in one shape or another
Locate the fear or fears and you have a chance to reverse or remove the depression
Fears are usually well hidden for the simple reason we do not like to look at them let alone confront them
Unfortunately good help is often difficult to find and invariably expensive
What to do?
First step acknowledge that you have or are in depression
Do those things that require full attention and concentration
Meditate if you know how if not then find ways to bring peace into your mind maybe through music maybe dance, anything again to lift you from your extreme absorption with your problems
Embrace the idea of appreciation for what you have and not a focus on what you do not have
Let go of yesterday and your history it's gone leave it be
Your future is unknown so leave it there without endless worry
Stay in the present moment it's the safest place to be
Depression builds over time so it takes time to undo
Decide to take steps to lead a more active life
Do exercise one way or another it does not need heroic activities rather those that allow you to feel and use your body
Find at least one reason why it is good to be here
Fight any negative thoughts or self doubt.
Find out what you want in life.
You might well know some of these things the trick though is to find some way to actually bring them into reality, to live them.
Find activities to do to replace negative thoughts or to occupy you when feeling confused,
It is very important to find activities and to do them,
Stay with them as long as possible without over stressing,
If one doesn't help then try another.
Read more, learn how to develop and maintain a positive attitude
Also how to live life and feel confident to start life over for this is often what needs to be done
Starting life over with new habits and forcing those positive thoughts until they begin to emerge by themselves
Accept that your life is not important to anyone else except you and you have to take charge and not live the life of a victim.
You are only a victim until you accept that only you can change your life situation
At this point you are no longer a victim but the responsible party for what happens to you
It can be very distressing listening to other stories of hard times.
Everyone has had bad times so when you are in yours stay away from those who like to add to your gloom
You need to find some activities that occupy your time and thought.
Keep looking and trying, if it doesn't work try something else.
Exercise as much as possible; force yourself to walk
Make commitments to do things with active people, activities leave less time for negative thoughts
Do not spend endless time in discussions and dwelling on the past.
Help people with some activities, or join groups, particularly with children and animals, they don't dwell in the past.
Some people gain comfort from animals and they are never negative!.
Be patient and believe you are not alone in this illness and will lead your own life again.
Over many lives we all experience depression the trick is to decide to get well again
Find the beauty of life it is there just needs you to decide to find it
Monday, September 08, 2008
One way or another
Learning to move with less pain, to change our lives
Learning to move without stressing out, changing our lives without tension and drama
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Yes this is how it really works
My thoughts and actions in this life shape how I am in my next
My genetics are merely those provided by the parents my profile chooses
My parents are those chosen to give me the best start in life for the lessons I have come to learn in this life
So in a very profound sense I am my own parent as I shape what I become in my new life
My genetic parents give me the start I need
My thoughts and actions now are what determine what happens to me in my new life
My previous thoughts and actions are what determine what I experience now
For the drunkard maybe drunken parents in the next life to experience what it is like to have drunken parents
What goes round coming round if you will
Karma in action
For those who were too busy to give their love or time to their children
They may well have parents in this life who are too busy to give them any attention or time either
And so it goes on karma is very accurate no one may pay for you
It is you alone who reap what you have sown
This is both for good and bad thoughts and deeds
More than half the world already understands that karma rules
Until 553ad Christians did too, when the Church elders decided to eliminate karma and reincarnation and replace it with their muddled teachings
If you look at these teachings they are rather incoherent but certainly there was nothing muddled or incoherent about the power and control it gave them
The absolution of sins is also a Christian idea, which again has nothing to do with the teachings of the founder
Be warned no one may give you absolution for anything you have done
No church no priest may absolve you contrary to current Christian teaching
Only you can undo what you have done
You pay your karma if not in this life then in the next or sometimes even later lives
You and you alone are responsible
Lie and cheat all you like
So dwell a little on this you are your own parent creating now what you will be and experience in the future
Yes life is not quite as simple as often in the West
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Who proudly proclaim how they dedicate their lives to their daughters
As if this is in the interests of the daughter
As if this is somehow admirable
Of course it is they who know best
They know how she should behave in any given situation
How she should think
How she should lead her life
With whom she should mix
Where she should live
And the rest
If you are one such then stop it
Get a life of your own
Your daughter is not here for you to live your life vicariously through hers
Get on with your own life and leave her alone to get on with hers
If she needs or wants your help then let her ask for it when she decides to
Do not talk to her every day on the phone
Do not call her
Let your daughter alone
Get on with your own life
And if you are the daughter then understand you are not here to be your mother's plaything
You are here to grow your own spirit
Get on with your own life
We are here to learn for ourselves
Of course a nice relationship is ideal
Of course you care
But surrendering your autonomy to a selfish woman is not what it is all about