Clear language

The great enemy of clear language is insincerity.

When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink. - George Orwell

And that is what we see and hear all day everyday

From far too many people

Insincerity is becoming the norm

No longer embarrassed to spout half truths and direct lies

Throughout history though there have been those who could see more clearly

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George Orwell is probably best known for his book 1984, however he had some neat quotes too

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Here are some of them

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During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act

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Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind

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Men can only be happy when they do not assume that the object of life is happiness.

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If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear
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To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle
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Many people genuinely do not wish to be saints, and it is possible that some who achieve or aspire to sainthood have never had much temptation to be human beings
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Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act
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Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it. "
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All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. "
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The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it. "

My mind

Controls me

Is this true for you?

Ever thought that your mind controls you?

Whenever it wants it can interrupt you

Frighten you

Irritate you

Help you

Harm you

And more than this keep thoughts flooding into your brain all day long

Everyday

Does this seem normal to you?

Modern man accepts that he has thoughts running around his head all day long as being quite natural

The ancients understood that this is not a good thing

We need peace

We need quiet

We need time without thought

Time to rest

Time for our bodies to heal

Our modern world has enough stress in it without adding to it ourselves

So how do you stop minds endless chatter?

By imposing discipline as you would with a child or an animal

By training it to leave you alone when asked to do so

By teaching it to keep quiet

And this is the most difficult thing a modern human can do

We do not have the patience

We do not have the time

We are too busy with more important things

Until we have a break down, cancer, heart attack or other device that nature uses to make us stop

So often humans only learn when it is so late in the day

And you?

Will you learn before it is too late?

A controlled mind allows you to become the master of your self

In the beginning learn to be the observer

The observer of yourself

Just what is your mind feeding you all day long

Is it fear?

Bad news?

Worry?

What is your mind feeding you?

Try to push it's thoughts away

Stay in the present moment

No worrying about the past

No worrying about the future

Just live in this moment now

And when you get good at this then time for the big one

How to control my mind?

Only way known is through meditation

Meditation for five or ten minutes a day will suffice

Every day

Unless it is every day your mind will assume this is just another of your fads

The meditation is simple

Choose a time that fits your nature

Wear comfortable clothes

Turn off all devices that might interrupt

Find a quiet place

Face the East

It''s where the sun comes up wherever you are

Sit in a semi lotus

Alternatively sit on a chair back straight, legs uncrossed, away from the back of the chair using your own spine

Place your hands one on each thigh, palms facing up

Shut your eyes

Breath in and out normally

Listen to your in and out breath

Stop all thoughts

They will be many, did I turn off the phone, I have to meet Fred for lunch, I feel an itch on my nose

I do not really need to do this

And so on and on

This is war make no mistake

Nothing less than control of you is at stake and mind is not going to give in without a fight

Day in day out during your meditation mind will battle you for control

If you keep going then one day weeks, months down the road suddenly

You will realise that you are not thinking

And of course in this moment you have started thinking again

No matter once you have been in this space you will want more

Why?

Because it is the most beautiful, safe place you have ever experienced

And once tasted we all want more

And now you know it is possible you can fight on knowing that you will win

And once you can go there whenever you want

You are on the way to becoming the master of yourself

Why?

Because when mind cannot dictate fear and stress to you at will you are able to control you mind]

And when you control your mind you arrive at peace of mind

And peace of mind is what all humans want

With peace of mind goes better judgement

Better decisions

Freedom from fear

Release from stress

And yes this is why we bang on about doing this

It is also the gateway to other realms

To harmony between the brain hemispheres

It is what all the major religious books are about

The battle with ourselves

Oh it is without doubt the hardest thing you can do

So when people say to you meditation is easy

Take this with a pinch of salt

Many people feel compelled to lie about this

No matter, what others say is not important

What is important is for you to master yourself

More on sleep

Sleeping is a serious problem for millions of people around the world
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The National Sleep Foundation in the US, which you should know receives financial support from pharmaceutical companies, estimates that 20 percent of Americans, up from 13 percent eight years ago, sleep fewer than six hours a night

In Europe and other places we can imagine that the numbers are fairly similar


In most countries the lucky few who sleep a full eight hours or more has dropped from 38 percent to 28 percent, which means that most of us are not sleeping as we would like
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Being chronically sleep-deprived is more than just tiring it effects our life in many ways
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It can lead to depression, high blood pressure, lower productivity, lower sex drive and of course less enthusiasm for many other things in life
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You have probably heard these sleep do's and don’ts before, but they are worth repeating.
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If you have been tossing and turning, do not drink caffeine after the late afternoon
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Avoid more than a glass or two of wine or the equivalent amount of other alcohol in the evening
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Save stressful activities, like arguments with your partner or a review of your finances, for early in the day
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Get into bed a half-hour before you plan to turn out the lights, and read a calming book.
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No TV, BlackBerry or electronic diversion of any kind an hour or so before bed, because they tend to be stimulating, not relaxing
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Exercise regularly, and reduce the overall level of stress in your life, easy to say however difficult to put into practice but necessary for your chances of being more relaxed and therefore able to go to sleep more easily
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The herb Valerian taken as a tea in the early evening can be helpful in relaxing you and is cumulative over time when taken regularly
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Good quality mattresses are an intelligent investment considering how long we all spend in our beds, one third of our lives no less!
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Over-the-counter medications that contain sleep-inducing antihistamines are fine for a night or two, but that is all, and better avoided where possible
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They typically do not work over the long term, and they bring unpleasant side effects like dry mouth and grogginess, let alone other unknown side effects on our state of mind
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If you still cannot sleep, see a doctor. who should first try to rule out any underlying medical condition that would require treatment by a different type of specialist.
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If you have primary insomnia, a medical condition in its own right, your doctor will probably begin treating you right away. And what might he do?
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Your doctor may prescribe a so-called hypnotic drug to help you sleep through the night such as zolpidem, the generic version of Ambien
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But if your problem is waking too early, he might suggest a longer-duration drug like temazepam,
the generic version of Restoril.
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But if you do not fancy taking drugs with their hidden side effects then maybe try cognitive behavioral therapy, or C.B.T which is quite fashionable in some quarters today
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C.B.T. for insomnia is meant to help patients change the behaviors and thoughts that get in the way of a good night’s sleep.
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The cognitive part of the process teaches you to change anxiety-producing thoughts that interfere with your ability to sleep,
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You might lie awake worrying, I have to get eight hours of sleep or I will be a wreck tomorrow.
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Most people, however, can function quite well on seven or less hours sleep
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The behavioral part of C.B.T aims at actions that impair your ability to sleep, like spending too much time in bed or not exercising at all during the day
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C.B.T. should be the first-line therapy for people with chronic insomnia rather than strong drugs
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It typically takes about four to five sessions over six weeks to learn the therapy and reap the benefits.
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All of the above are trying to address the same problem, which is about learning to reduce the stress and fears in your life so that you are relaxed when you approach sleep
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Consider though that by far the most unhelpful thing is not doing anything, because unless your situation changes your ability to go to sleep is unlikely to get better without some action on your part
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Just a thought

Mahatma Gandhi - 1869 - 1948

Hatred ever kills, love never dies

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Such is the vast difference between the two.

What is obtained by love is retained for all time.

What is obtained by hatred proves a burden in reality for it increases hatred

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Just a couple of his thoughts, which he lived by and proved their validity in extremely difficult circumstances

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Most of us would say that this is too idealistic and not possible today

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And then along came Nelson Mandela

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Can you live with their approach in your own life?

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Love is a tough concept to live by

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Hate is a most destructive one

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Just a thought hold the idea of love whenever you can and never hold hatred

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For love is what heals and we all need healing

What's important

Most of us have different ideas as to what is important in life

For some it is money

For others a car and house

Maybe clothes

Music, vacations, chilling out

And so the list goes on

What cannot be disputed is that good health is right up there

If we can agree that good health is the one, without which life is pretty tough, then here's a thought

We cannot know today what we ingest because so many nasty elements get into our food and drink

We cannot do much about the air we breath

Nor can we do much about the times we live in

What we can do is to increase our chances of staying healthy

And number one in this section is our attitude

Is our understanding about life

If we have no idea and have never thought about it then for sure we will just be buffeted about because that's what happens to those who don't care or have any interest

For those who wonder here is what we know

Being comfortable with reincarnation and karma is a real weight off our shoulders because it explains so much

It also helps us see why we are here

What we should do with our lives

Helps us be more relaxed about things

Leading on from this we can see the design and meaning of life more clearly

This means we can smile more and feel happier about what comes our way

Struggle to grow and do so now with understanding as to the why and what for

Having a handle on the why and wherefore of life makes things more agreeable

Being aware that we and only we are responsible for what happens to us is a relief

Not feeling powerless even when in difficult situations that we cannot change

Knowing that our actions lead to what we experience later

For sure at first it is a stretch to believe this

So easy to blame everything on others

To shrug and say it's predetermined

No it is not predetermined

It is us who determine what happens

Nature operates impersonally as do the oceans

It is not the wave that drowned the man

Rather the actions that put him under the wave

So what's important in your life is not just your actions but rather your thoughts

Thoughts come before actions

They do count for so much

They influence our behaviour

They colour all that we experience

Stands to reason if your thoughts are miserable then this will colour all you experience

Our thoughts, our attitude to life are what is important

And these are ours

Ours alone

What goes on inside your head?

This is what is important

Healthy seperation

The bullying mother might be replaying a pattern she herself learnt as a child: love as extreme attention.

The overanxious mother or smother mothers can’t stop interfering in her children’s lives, not because she doesn’t trust them, but because she doesn’t trust herself.

Then there are the “me-first” mothers, narcissism is often a cover for extreme insecurity, the victim mothers black holes that no amount of love and attention can ever fill, cold mothers who learnt emotional frigidity at their own mother’s knee and competitive mothers desperate to hold on to their diminishing youth and desirability.

There are all kinds of mothers, just as there are all kinds of women.

Good mothering means teaching our children to leave us, sending them out into the world as happy, confident individuals.

Loving our mother means taking a step back, seeing her as vulnerable and human — often way more human than, at heart, we’d like her to be.

The problem is usually a failure of separation — on both sides.

So how can we free ourselves from that emotional legacy?

Well, by setting our mother free.

That might sound odd.

Instinctively we believe she is the problem, not us, but we forget how compelling anger and resentment can be.

By hanging onto them, we keep our mothers close.

Even a thousand miles of separation is no defence against a maternal inner critic, which is perhaps why the most often-asked question is; how do I learn to forgive?

If we accept that, for whatever reason, our mother is not the person we wanted her to be, but the person she thought it was right to be (or did not know there was any other way to be), we may find space for forgiveness.

We might also look to ourselves and take responsibility for our own behaviour, see the way we react, or overreact, in her presence.

We might try to find some patience and understanding.

Generally, it’s only when we become parents ourselves that we begin to understand how easily we project our own needs and desires onto our children and just how difficult the task of mothering can be.

One of the gifts we might give ourselves is freedom from guilt.

That’s the beginning of true emotional separation.

We are not responsible for our mother’s life.

We are responsible for our own.

Nobody has more power over our own lives than we do.

If we believe our mother holds all the power, it is because we give it to her.

Taking it back means being less interested in what our mother did to us as children, and more interested in managing our relationship in the here and now.

We all have triggers; the buttons every mother knows how to press.

If we can see them with humour — “Oh, look, there goes that button again” — we can work on disabling them, disconnecting them one by one.
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We may always be children in the presence of our mothers, but that does not mean we cannot be adults and set healthy boundaries, the simplest of which is learning to use the word “no” with firm consistency.

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No, Mum, I can’t ring you every day.

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I’ll call you when I can.

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No is a complete sentence; it requires no excuses, explanations or apologies.

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We may be met by emotional blackmail, pleading, scolding or punishing silence but, eventually, the message will get through because we all have something our mothers want: we have ourselves.

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Sympathy helps too, even for the most difficult mothers.

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She may find it hard to let us go.

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Once we are grown, her job is done; she is, essentially, redundant and may be fearful of losing her power or mourning the unconditional love we gave her as children.

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She may even, emotionally, still be a child herself, so seeing us walk away is more than she can bear.
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Honesty, however disloyal and difficult it may at first feel, is often the best policy.

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There is no law that says we have to love, or even like, our mother.

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What we might do instead is find some compassion and see her as just another human being, beset by fear, vanity, doubt and insecurity.

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Compassion, not anger, sets us free.

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Most of all, we have to decide whose life we want to live: our own, or our mother’s?

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Sunday Times

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Mmmmm!

Charles Darwin

Worldwide the 200th anniversary of Charles Darwin is being celebrated this year

And for most people he is remembered for the phrase "the survival of the fittest" stated in his "Origin of Species"

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This phrase only appears twice in that book and the second time it is to regret and apologise for using the term

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In the same book he uses the word love ninety three times, yet in the index there is only one entry

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OK so what about that other famous entry "selfish genes" for which he is remembered?

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Yes it is there but he says it is a 'base principle, which accounts for the low morality of savages'

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So then what can be opposite from selfishness?

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We find it is morality and lo we find that he uses this over ninety times

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Over ninety times for love and morality versus one or two times for the two phrases for which he is globally remembered

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Something seems funny here

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Funny really because he goes out of his way in his second opus "The Descent of Man" to dwell upon the thrust of the moral sense and the impact of social psychological development on an evolving species

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Cooperation and moral behaviour being of paramount importance to our current state of evolution

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In the conclusion of this book he clearly states "Important as the struggle for existence has been and even still is, yet as far as the highest part of our nature is concerned there are other agencies more important

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'For the moral qualities are advanced either directly or indirectly much more through the efforts of habit, by our reasoning powers, by instruction, by religion, etc than through natural selection'

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So how do we manage to remember what he says about our earlier and more primitive needs and forget about his powerful thinking and statements about moral behaviour as a current need?

Never in our history has moral behaviour been more important

Never have we needed to remember this more than now

And so here we are celebrating a great thinker for the first part of his contribution to our understanding of species evolution and totally ignoring what he wrote about our evolutionary needs today!

Way to go!!

His books are a long read requiring attention and effort so yet again our laziness allows those who choose to present half the story to do so

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Time to recognise that the second part of his efforts are what we need today

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Yes let's remember him for this

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Or can it be that there are people out there who want us to focus only on the selfish base instincts?

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Surely not

Mahatma Gandhi - 2

Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.

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The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.
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The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world's problems.

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The only virtue I want to claim is truth and non-violence. I lay no claim to superhuman powers. I want none. I wear the same corruptible flesh that the weakest of my fellow beings wears, and am therefore as liable to err as any. My services have many limitations, but God has up to now blessed them in spite of the imperfections.

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The Seven Deadly Sins.

Wealth without work,

Pleasure without conscience,

Knowledge without character,

Commerce without morality,

Science without humanity,

Worship without sacrifice,

and Politics without principle.
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The test of friendship is assistance in adversity, and that too, unconditional assistance.

Co-operation which needs consideration is a commercial contract and not friendship.

Conditional co-operation is like adulterated cement which does not bind.
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The weak can never forgive.

Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
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There are times when you have to obey a call which is the highest of all, i.e. the voice of conscience even though such obedience may cost many a bitter tear, and even more, separation from friends, from family, from the state to which you may belong, from all that you have held as dear as life itself. For this obedience is the law of our being.

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They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.

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Weeding is as necessary to agriculture as sowing.

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What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans, and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy?

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When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won.

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There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall.

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Think of it – always.
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Whenever I see an erring man, I say to myself I have also erred; when I see a lustful man I say to myself, so was I once; and in this way I feel kinship with everyone in the world and feel that I cannot be happy without the humblest of us being happy.

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Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love.

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Who am I?

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I have no strength save what God gives me. I have no authority over my countrymen save the pure moral. If He holds me to be a pure instrument for the spread of non-violence in place of the awful violence now ruling the earth, He will give me the strength and show me the way. My greatest .weapon is mute prayer. The cause of peace is therefore, in God’s good hands.

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Woman is the companion of man, gifted with equal mental capacities.

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She has the right to participate in the minutest details in the activities of man, and she has an equal right of freedom and liberty within him.

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References: Collected from various sources.

It really works

What does?

Using, being love consciously

Understanding that love is a force

An energy

Love is the power

We hear a lot about hate and violence

We see it all the time in our media

Love we hear less about

Harder to talk about really

Hate and violence are more visible, more dramatic

The modern focus is on the dramatic, the shocking

Love on the other hand is about peace and harmony

It offers less visible drama

Less visual excitement

Love is central to our lives whatever our situation

We have it

We are in it

We are out of it

We wish we were in it

We wish we were out of it!

Some interesting things about it often escape our notice

Love helps guard our health

Love causes less wear and tear on our immune systems

Not necessarily a love of someone

A love of life will do fine

A love of being

Notice the symbol of love above

A heart

Why is this so?

Because our hearts are central to love

From our hearts we say

Heart to heart

Live a life of love

A life lived in love and everything is changed

Love is not something to be chased
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Love is inside all of us
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Love is something we open to
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Love is not given to us we open to it
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Sure someone might show love towards us however unless we are open to it it counts for little
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Even if you only agree with a part of the above love can change your life in so many ways
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Yes using love, as something that you let guide your emotions and experiences of life
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Being in love
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Being love works
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Works for what?
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A better more enjoyable different kind of life
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The opposite is also a choice that is to experience life as one of problems, fear and darkness
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No thanks!

Be warned though choosing love takes some work like anything else worthwhile

Body language

Is one of the hardest skills to master

Why?

Because in short, it’s about being truthful with yourself.

Human beings have a truly incredible ability to see what they want to or, for that matter, refuse to see the obvious in any objective way

In some circles this is known as “Seeking” and “Denial”.

Seeking is where you want to see signals that are important to you – even if they’re not really there -

While Denial is when you refuse to see signals that conflict with what you want to see.

For example, a man is talking to an attractive woman and she crosses her legs

He see this as a flirtatious gesture and in some cases it can be but in this context it is actually an attempt to end the contact – “I’m shutting my legs so you can’t come in”.

He is seeking what he wants by imagining the positive while at the same time refusing to accept that she doesn’t want to go further, she is denying him

He increases his advances and eventually she is forced to openly reject him.

His self esteem is damaged and later he describes her negatively as a tease.

He misinterpreted the signals because psychologically he could not, or would not, accept the truth of what he was seeing

So often body language is read as we want it to be and then we find ourselves frustrated when rejected

This applies to both sexes as we are all exposed to each other

The key to understanding body language is the ability to be objective

So again we come around to knowing yourself so that what we see is not filtered through our perceptions

The little signs can be learnt

Body language can also be learnt

However to become good at reading body language we need to go beyond the basic signs so that they can be put in the context of the bigger picture

As with many other skills this takes time and practice

However we all interact with each other every day so use your time to learn this useful skill