Long distance love
Difficult to keep your balance when you love someone and they are in another country or place
Another world almost
Men and women are often different in how they react to this
Often men just get on with their lives, turning to sport or other things that they could not do so much of when they were with their girlfriends
Women often wonder what the man is doing
He being blissfully unaware of this is enjoying being a bachelor
She not hearing from him wonders if he has found someone else
Sometimes yes he has and is busily romancing another woman
When separated over time all things are possible
And being the humans we are most combinations and permutations have been tried
.
What to do?
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If you trust each other then weekly calls are usually best
.
Every night after a while gets stale and repetitive because there is limit to what you can say that has not been said many times before
.
If the woman trusts her man then she is happy working, seeing friends and family being busy
.
If he trusts her then he is busy too
.
Neither one is worried about the behaviour of the other
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They trust each other
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In this situation though it is not possible to share much more than the flavour of what they are doing
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What you are sharing with each other is obviously different from how you experience things when you are together
.
Keeping each other involved with their lives, their dramas and routines
.
Main point is to reaffirm their love for each other
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That they care
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That they miss each other
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Try surprising each other in nice ways with flowers, emails, cards even
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But if you find that things are sliding away
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That you no longer care so much, someone else enters your life
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Then is the time to be honest in a clear but sympathetic way
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No brutal words are necessary but honesty is
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Try to explain what has changed
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Do not half do the job
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Be clear that it is finished
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That there is no intent to carry on or try again
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And if you are the abandoned one then get busy
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Accept the new situation and move on
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Not easy so that's why being busy helps to keep our mind off thoughts of the other
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Cynical but true thought it is better to learn before heavy commitments are made
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Before children arrive, mortgages signed and all the myriad other entanglements of relationship
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It take two to say yes
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It only takes one to say no
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Unconditional love means letting go if the other party no longer wants to go on
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Violent aggression and revenge create more negative karma
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Do not look for revenge, let go
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Life will bring other opportunities but maybe not those you expect
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Maybe life will not go as you plan it probably won't
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Life is what it is process
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We do not all have to follow the same patterns in life accept where yours takes you
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Long term separation is tough and yes it can break relationships
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It can also strengthen them as well
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And this finally is what life it is all about............ learning
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Let life be your teacher without regrets, without what if's
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Wonder what is coming next not about what has just finished
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Live for this day now
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