Different ways of looking at things

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
.
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
.
---------------------------------------------------------
.
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
.
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
.
---------------------------------------------------------
.
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court
.
Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
.
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and
.
then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
.
---------------------------------------------------------
.
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took
.
the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
.
'Me neither doctor,' said the husband.
.
'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
.
-----------------------------------------------------------
.
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
.
been living with for the last 40 years.
.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that
.
were used to put the curse on you.'
.
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
.
----------------------------------------------------------
.
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take
.
to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
.
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
.
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
.
----------------------------------------------------------
.
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
.
Joe: 'Really?'
.
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'
.
----------------------------------------------------------
.
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks
.
him how he is feeling.
.
'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
.
'Oops!'
.
------------------------------------------------------------
.
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive
.
clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,

'She's arrived.'