A little mmm

A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
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Marriage is an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
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A lecture is the art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either
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A conference is the confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
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Compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
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Tears are the hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power
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The conference room is a place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
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Classic is a book which people praise, but never read
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Smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight
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Office for many is a place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
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Experience is the name men give to their mistakes
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A diplomat is person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
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A miser is a person who lives poor so that he can die rich
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A father is a banker provided by nature
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The boss is someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
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The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity.
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Don't drown the man who taught you to swim
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A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be somewhere else.
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Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.
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No guy is worth your tears and the one who is won’t make you cry
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The worst way to miss someone, is to have them sitting right next to you and you know you can never have them
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All kids are gifted; some just open their packages earlier than others.
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Men are like roses, watch out for all of the pricks.
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In order to be someone, you must first be yourself.
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We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
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Don’t waste your time on a guy that isn’t willing to waste his time on you.
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Never take life seriously - nobody gets out alive anyway.
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A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
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A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
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Have the courage to live - anyone can die