The difference

Between getting by and being fulfilled is in one word

Altruism

Yes those who derive most from life are those who understand this simple idea

Serving others

Putting the interests of others before self

In a word altruism

Or not me but we

This is the one thing that separates the frustrated from the fulfilled

For many this might seem to be counter intuitive

Like the ski instructor who tells you to lean out from the mountain

Yet several things in life are counter intuitive

And when we find them we go 'of course'

Often wishing that someone had told us earlier

Earlier, so that we would not have wasted so much time believing rubbish

Rubbish as we now understand our previous understanding to have been

Yet so many are sold on the idea of the self, my self being the beginning, middle and end of life

As they say why should I help others when I have so many needs myself?

This orientation drives their lives

Self, me, my needs, my self

And that is indeed the point, the reason

Those who focus on themselves and their own needs are more and more likely to wind up frustrated and unhappy

Why?

Because total self interest has a price, a very high price

It turns everything into an analysis of gain or loss

Gain or loss to oneself

Mentally evaluating everything experienced as a win lose propostion

This creates an inability to feel or care for others

Because there is only me and what this did for me

Did I win or lose?

Did you get more than me?

Did I win?

The I being governed by mind

No real feelings just judgement

The mind being that instrument of judgement

Over the years you can experience nothing else

Only me and my needs

All experienced through mind

This creates a great big separation

You out there and me in here

The only reality is me

You are either supporting me in what I want and need or you are opposing me in what I want or need

Seen this way no trust or love can evolve because everything is experienced as a gain or loss to myself

Heart is not invovled because heart is we
.
Heart is giving, sharing, caring
.
For the selfish one nothing else is felt just gain or loss to myself
.
And naturally I want more for me because this is the only way I know life
.
My gain or loss
.
Experienced this way life is reduced to a simple numbingly dumb series of repetitions
.
Endless preoccupation with the limited self of mind
.
An inward downward spiral if you will
.
And this spiral by the time you are sixty or so is usually irreversible
.
Too late to change
.
And yet still another twenty years or so to go
.
A private hell for many
.
Desperately seeking amusements to avoid the hell of being alone
.
Being alone with this selfish creature devoid of feeling for anything or anyone other than self
.
This creature that is your own creation
.
Just another sad old man dying of cancer and............................as Pink Floyd once sang
.
For the others who choose another path where the feelings and the well being of others is paramount
.
Life is very different
.
Putting others interests and needs before our own powerfully broadens the experience of life
.
It broadens the experience of life taking it beyond mind into the realm of love
.
Doing things for others not for reward or gain
.
Doing them because it just feels right
.
Just feels like the right thing to do
.
Wanting to bring pleasure to another
.
Wanting to support and bring growth in another
.
Wanting to help
.
Care and compassion are natural components of this emerging human
.
Many women experience this through having children
.
It is difficult, although not impossible, to be selfish when bring up children
.
No
.
Lets make a distinction women who truly love their children do not put their own interests first
.
For them doing what is best for their children is natural
.
Those women for whom a child is an accessory
.
A toy, a plaything they do not experience an expansion of love and life in the same way as those who put their children interests above their own
.
For those men and women for whom the needs of others are as or more important than their own life broadens
.
Expands into new dimensions of satisfaction and fulfillment
.
So we come back to that one word altruism
.
For this is what separates us
.
Those who find those last twenty years fulfilling and those who experience the fear and pain of loneliness
.
Just for the record hell is not out there somewhere
.
It is here and now
.
In this life here on Earth
.
Hell is what you create through your own choices
.
Choices that are yours even as you read this
.
A spiral down into oblivion or a spiral of expansion out into the light
.
Choices you are making now determine how your future will be
.
Choose altruism
.
Light is so much nicer than darkness and despair