Just for fun

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow
Do not walk beside me either
Just pretty much leave me alone
.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire
.
It's always darkest before dawn
So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
.
Don't be irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
.
Always remember that you're unique.
Just like everyone else
.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet
.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments
.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes
.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you
.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day
.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment
.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything
.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them
.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket
.
A closed mouth gathers no foot
.
Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together
.
There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works
.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving
.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it
.
Never miss a good chance to shut up
.
AND
.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.