Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Meeting others

Is not easy

The more so when we are getting over a relationship and are not in the habit of going out

Where to go?

What to do?

Often we have no interest in pubs or other places where being alone is so obvious

Makes you feel uncomfortable, but then maybe it has to be until you break those patterns being alone

It’s time to face your fears and to start living again 

It’s time for you to give yourself what you’ve been waiting for someone else to give to you.

You are much more likely to meet new people if you go out alone

People find this difficult so it’s best to start by going alone to safe places

Then become more adventurous once you get comfortable with your own company

A simple first step is to make a point of arriving early at a bar or restaurant when you are going to meet people

Try going to local coffee shops with a laptop so that you can do your emails while feeling OK with being alone

Once you feel better about going out alone and start to lose the lonely feeling

Time to enrol in some activities where you can meet others
But this works only if you sign up for a series of actions rather than something that takes place over a single weekend.

Classes, courses or groups where there’s a lot of physical interaction

Making things, dancing classes, helping others or concert going somewhere in the group
Try friend dating

Social websites are a good start and they help get you out and more used to meeting others

They organise pub quizzes, book groups and supper clubs 
Consider volunteering for something which appeals to you  there are many NGO's today that need volunteers

Caution though do not volunteer for something you do not like or agree with that can be a real turn off

The advantage of only volunteering for something you really like or agree with is that if you do meet someone through this activity then you have two things in common straight off

The activity and each other

The more positive energy you expend the more will come back your way

Live for your own interests because then you are not wasting your time pretending

Do not go to places you do not like

Or do things you do not like

Be disciplined it takes a while to like our own company

When you do and find yourself quite happy with yourself that is the time when someone appears

Not when you are too eager

Too anxious

Learn to like yourself for what you are

Then and only then does partnership make sense


Because you have learnt more about yourself

You are more confident

You are less needy

Leaning less on others

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