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Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Not very easy
To get through those first two years of your child's life
Not easy on the parents that is
Modern parents typically living on their own with their children have to make it on their own
Traditionally there would have been grandparents and other family members around to help
Today not so often
And the outcome of this is stress and more stress
Why?
Because most parents get less than four hours uninterrupted rest a night because of crying offspring.
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They suffer a huge sleep debt
Leading to mood swings
Depression
Arguments
And even relationship break-ups.
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Most adults need at least five hours of uninterrupted sleep every 24 hours to function properly
Many need as much as eight hours.
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But almost two thirds of parents with babies and under-twos get just three-and three-quarters hours, according to recent studies
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That's just 75% of the minimum recommended length of uninterrupted sleep.
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And some very unlucky parents - 12% of those surveyed - get less than two-and-a-half hours of uninterrupted sleep per night.
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Over the course of two years, and even accounting for regular power-naps, that means the majority of mothers and fathers miss out on six months sleep.
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Add to this the other stresses associated with bringing up very young children and you have a potential for long term damage to the relationship
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More often the experience leads to long term changes in the relationship
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Changes that fix perceptions of each other in a new light
A light that is often less favourable than the one you had before your baby arrived
What to do?
Time and honesty
Time to recover
Honesty to discuss and review behaviour and habits that are unacceptable
Yes most young parents learn a lot more about each other through the arrival of a child than they knew before
Good and bad
The more open they are with each other the better the relationships chances for the future
Provided of course that they are prepared to compromise
Compromise being a central part of any successful relationship
Will you?
Can you?
Without compromise and and adjustment those weakness and faults seen during those early parenting months can fester and lead to greater problems later on
Focus on the good things seen
Make appreciation of the other known to your partner
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