Just a little lighter

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
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Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
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There is great need for a sarcasm font.
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How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
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Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5.
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I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
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Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
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Bad decisions make good stories.
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You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
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Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray?
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I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
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I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
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I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
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I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
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I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
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I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
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How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
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I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
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Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
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But I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
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The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
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That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.