Sex thoughts

Nothing improves with age.
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Sex has no calories.
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Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
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Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.
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No sex with anyone in the same office.
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A man in the house is worth two in the street.
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If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
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When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
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The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.
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The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
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Sow your wild oats on Saturday night – Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
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The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
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Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
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There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex.
But there is nothing exactly like it.
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Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

Do it only with the best.
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Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
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One good turn gets most of the blankets.
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It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
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Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.
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Never argue with a women when she’s tired — or rested.
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A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.
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It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
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Never say no.
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A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her.
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Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
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Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
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Love comes in spurts.
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The world does not revolve on an axis.
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Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
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Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up.
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There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
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Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
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Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
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This won’t hurt, I promise.