Men are just happier

Nicknames
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If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
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If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
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Eating out
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When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. 
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None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
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When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
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Money
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A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
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A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
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Bathrooms
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A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
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The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. 
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A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
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Arguments
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A woman has the last word in any argument.
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Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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Future
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A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
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A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
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Success
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
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A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
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Marriage
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A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
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A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
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Dressing up
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A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
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A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
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Natural
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Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
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Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
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Offspring
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Ah, children!. 
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A woman knows all about her children. 
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She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
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A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house
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Just joking!