English

Why is English so hard to learn?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was timeto present the present

8) I did not object to the object.

9) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

10) They were too close to the door to close it.

11) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

12) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

13) I shed my clothes in the shed.

Let's face it - English can be a ridiculous language.

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We take English forgranted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can workslowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea noris it a pig.

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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; neither apple nor pinein a pineapple.

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English muffins weren't invented in England, nor French fries in France.Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

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And why is it that bakers bake, but grocers don't groce?

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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

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If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of Booth - beeth?One goose, 2 geese...

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So one moose, 2 meese?

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One index, 2 indices?

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Sometimes we think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylumfor the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play andplay at a recital?

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We ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

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Have noses that run and feet thatsmell?

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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and awise guy are opposites?

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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which Your housecan burn up as it burns down, in which you ' fill in ' a form by 'fillingit out' and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

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English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects thecreativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).

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Thatis why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights areout, they are invisible.

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And finally, how about when you want to shut down your computer you have tohit "START" button.
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