Making relationships work

If there is one area in our lives where most of us struggle, it’s relationships.

That’s the bad news

The good news is that they can be improved.

It takes hard work and involvement

We learn how to have relationships from our parents

We learn quickly as young children when we meet and find ourselves with other young children

And for sure some of us are taught rather better than others

Without too much thinking some of us become controllers

Others followers

Others users even

Much has been written about how we should treat each other in these three major categories

What we should do or say

How we should behave

Maybe less written about is what we should not do

Being told to be gentler, kinder and more tolerant is fine but how?

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Do not blame somebody else for the way you feel
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Don’t to try to change the other person, we cannot change other people change your own responses and behaviour.

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Try not to use the word ‘you’ replace it with the word ‘I’ and stop using the words ‘never’ and ‘always’

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Don’t be defensive and stop sulking

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Learn to accept an apology as well learning to apologise,
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And if you love to control people then stop it let others be

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Do not promise to do things that you have no intention of doing

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Do not agree to meet at a certain time and then arrive late, show respect for yourself and others by being on time

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Do not tell little white lies, ever they have a way of coming back to haunt you

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Do not gossip about those who are not present unless it is to say something nice, in fact better to say nothing if you cannot think of anything nice to say
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If you have bad manners then be warned we all notice bad manners and yes they do matter so ensure that you have good manners