Wednesday, September 22, 2010

When illusions die

And reality stares you in the face

What then?

For many this is when the marriage begins to die

Or so called steady relationship

While the power of sex is strong in us we can avoid the deeper reality

We can avoid seeing our own projections onto the other person

Projections so many have about each other

When the initial lust calms as it must

We begin to notice that there are things about the other that we do not like

Things that were so well hidden in the first flush of romance

Around 40% of marriages fail in the first four years

We would bet a large number because the two parties were projecting like crazy

To avoid this happening again or for the first time

Try imagining the relationship without sex

No sex

Just you and the other sitting, eating, sleeping and doing all those normal things couples do

No sex

How is the character of the other is she generous or mean?

Controlling perhaps?

And how is her family?

How is her relationship with others?

Does she have friends and how are they?

Notice these things about each other before entering into that exciting sexual period

If you can that is

The pull of lust is a strong one

How strong are you?

Better to be cautious before entering into commitments of a more serious nature

Maybe some of those old ideas about courtship and romance were not so stupid after all

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