Saturday, January 29, 2011

Couples and those things that break

Couples deal with problems in their relationship everyday

That is not to say they have problems every day however it is to say that there are things to be done everyday to protect or develop the relationship

And of course each couple has their own unique set of problems and issues to work on

And then again there are various 'standard' issues which confront most couples at some time or another

Surely most couples have problems in the bedroom at some point where one or the other does not have the same needs or desires

When you think about it is it likely that a man and woman would be in sync sexually for year after year day in day out?

Contrary to all the sex advice columns it would seem obvious that there are going to be times where sex is not an issue and others where it is an issue

Another area where couples usually have problems is in the home where one person ends up doing more than the other when it comes to household chores

Often one will suffer in silence for some time before blowing up

Money is another where one partner makes more money and spends more money or wants more money.

Others where one partner, often the man, who might be earning more while the other partner looks after children and so earns none or less by virtue of working part time and has to ask for money from the other.

The other treating the money as 'his', because he earned it and feels he should control it

Others where one partner controls all the family money and gives the other partner an allowance decided by him

Then again a very common one is where couples do not feel they have enough money and take it out on each other.

These lead to other issues such communication problems such as 

No comprising

No talking,

Avoiding each other

Keeping quiet when things bother each other

One partner is not taking the relationship seriously enough or sometimes this can be both partners.

One might feel neglected and the other is lacking interest

Then there are those who fight with each other constantly.

Always picking a fight about anything.

Trust is also a big one due to insecurities

Jealousy or infidelity

Guess we can all feel why bother from time to time

This can then lead to divorce or breakdown of the relationship 

And they do

And yet and yet in spite of all the bad news the good far out ways the bad in most relationships

The effort to make a relationship work is reward in itself

While we might feel this is not so when things are going badly we should maybe remember that all sorts of other factors often impact us

Things like outside stress



Job loss

And yet and yet being alone is OK even fine for some however for most being in relationship is far nicer than being alone

Relationships are not like plasters to apply to a wound and they do not have to be turned into commodities

Relationships take work and compromise

Bring unconditional love into the equation and they can all work

Your choice

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