Men and women

How to bridge the understanding gap or chasm between men and women

Not easy and for sure there are many ideas on the subject

The following is just one aspect

One could argue that the single most important way to bridge the gap in communication between genders is empathy. 

It cuts across gender, race, religion, and age differences. 

Empathy has nothing to do with expecting something from someone else

Nor is it about conceding to another’s viewpoint. 

It has only to do with fully seeing things from another’s point of view

Importantly it is very much about accepting and appreciating that they see it that way.

To truly hear the other person and to let them feel respected

Empathy is how we really achieve this  

Often men feel the need to play out the anthropological role of strength and power in the relationship. 

Exposing vulnerability to a wife might reduce the stature for which men innately strive.

Totally differently women strive for closeness in relationships

Big problem these two probably innate characteristics are polar opposites

Divorce statistics bear this out 

From an anthropological role of nurturing a wife usually wants to give love and affection

The male to play his role in the world

To bridge the gap if  our expectations, acceptance and empathy are tightly woven together 

Then this can offer us the means for closing the communication gap between men and women.

To do this we need to step away from the strong hold of our values

Our upbringing

The generational concepts around us

Lingering religious beliefs

Unspoken gender roles

Media and societal concepts

All these have shaped us, often without our conscious awareness

To move on from these values, which can be subtly or strongly engrained in our partners 

 We must learn to verbalize our true needs, speaking out our concerns

Acknowledge and accept our differences

And we must do this without expecting change from others

Too often we expect a change in our behaviour to result in instant change in others

It does not work that way it takes time

We need to honestly see their point of view without judging them

Too often we judge others, it is a natural aspect of a reductionist world behaviour

Measuring and evaluating what they say and might mean. 

We can go nowhere when we judge all the time 

We must have a personal desire to learn and grow

Learning the knowledge and skills so that we can make continual adjustments in our own behavior and communication style.

If we can embark on this course of action then even small changes in our own behaviour can have a big effect on our relationships

Small changes in our verbal and non-verbal communication can lead to big positive changes in our lives

And of course in our lives with our partners.