Maybe it’s sometimes seen as a good thing to have very clear roles with lots of clarity in a relationship.
.
Where one person is not stepping on the other’s toes.
.
There could be less quarrels.
.
Particularly since you can easily get into squabbles if both have the same roles and one has the feeling that the other is not pulling his or her own weight.
.
But the deeper reasons for today's higher divorce rate, come from the values of “modern” couples rather than the chores they share.
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Modern couples are just that, both in the way they divide up the chores and in their perception of marriage as being less sacred.
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In these modern couples, women also have a high level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially.
.
They can manage much easier if they divorce.
.
Norway for example has a long tradition of gender equality and child rearing is shared equally between mothers and fathers in 70 per cent of cases.
.
But when it comes to housework, women in Norway still account for most of it in seven out of 10 couples.
.
Women who did most of the chores did so of their own volition and were found to be as “happy” as those in “modern” couples.
.
Dr Frank Furedi, Sociology professor at the University of Canterbury, said the study made sense as chore sharing took place more among couples from middle class professional backgrounds, where divorce rates are known to be high.
.
These people are extremely sensitive to making sure everything is formal, laid out and contractual.
.
That does make for a fairly fraught relationship.
.
The more you organise your relationship.
.
The more you work out diaries and schedules.
.
The more it becomes a business relationship rather than an intimate, loving spontaneous one.
.
That tends to encourage a conflict of interest rather than finding harmonious resolutions.
.
In a good relationship people simply don’t know who does what and don’t particularly care.
.
Unless marriage is a relationship above anything else, then whenever there are tensions or contradictions things come to a head.
.
You have less capacity to forgive and absorb the bad stuff.
.
It has also been found that men who shouldered a bigger share of domestic responsibilities had a better sense of well being and enjoyed a better work-life balance.
.
Researchers expected to find that where men shouldered more of the burden, women’s happiness levels were higher.
.
In fact they found that it was the men who were happier while their wives and girlfriends appeared to be largely unmoved.
.
Those men who did more housework generally reported less work-life conflict and were scored slightly higher for well being overall.
.
Experts suggested that, while this may be partly because they felt less guilty, the main reason could be that they had simply learnt the secret of a quiet life.
.
And in any relationship as we all know a quiet life is all!
.
Where one person is not stepping on the other’s toes.
.
There could be less quarrels.
.
Particularly since you can easily get into squabbles if both have the same roles and one has the feeling that the other is not pulling his or her own weight.
.
But the deeper reasons for today's higher divorce rate, come from the values of “modern” couples rather than the chores they share.
.
Modern couples are just that, both in the way they divide up the chores and in their perception of marriage as being less sacred.
.
In these modern couples, women also have a high level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially.
.
They can manage much easier if they divorce.
.
Norway for example has a long tradition of gender equality and child rearing is shared equally between mothers and fathers in 70 per cent of cases.
.
But when it comes to housework, women in Norway still account for most of it in seven out of 10 couples.
.
Women who did most of the chores did so of their own volition and were found to be as “happy” as those in “modern” couples.
.
Dr Frank Furedi, Sociology professor at the University of Canterbury, said the study made sense as chore sharing took place more among couples from middle class professional backgrounds, where divorce rates are known to be high.
These people are extremely sensitive to making sure everything is formal, laid out and contractual.
.
That does make for a fairly fraught relationship.
.
The more you organise your relationship.
.
The more you work out diaries and schedules.
.
The more it becomes a business relationship rather than an intimate, loving spontaneous one.
.
That tends to encourage a conflict of interest rather than finding harmonious resolutions.
.
In a good relationship people simply don’t know who does what and don’t particularly care.
.
Unless marriage is a relationship above anything else, then whenever there are tensions or contradictions things come to a head.
.
You have less capacity to forgive and absorb the bad stuff.
.
It has also been found that men who shouldered a bigger share of domestic responsibilities had a better sense of well being and enjoyed a better work-life balance.
.
Researchers expected to find that where men shouldered more of the burden, women’s happiness levels were higher.
.
In fact they found that it was the men who were happier while their wives and girlfriends appeared to be largely unmoved.
.
Those men who did more housework generally reported less work-life conflict and were scored slightly higher for well being overall.
.
Experts suggested that, while this may be partly because they felt less guilty, the main reason could be that they had simply learnt the secret of a quiet life.
.
And in any relationship as we all know a quiet life is all!
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