Murphys and others

Murphy's Laws are a universal set of sarcastic quotes about life, born out of collective wisdom!

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Here are some
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If anything can go wrong, it will.
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Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
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Enough research will tend to support whatever theory.
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Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
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You will always find something in the last place you look.
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Funny Sarcastic Sayings About Life
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What we feel and think and is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera
- Aldous Huxley
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Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
- Mark Twain
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Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
- Robin Williams
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God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
- Robin Williams
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Politics: 'Poli' a Latin word meaning 'many'; and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
- Robin William
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Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
- Robin Williams
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He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
- Victor Borge
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Here are some sarcastic remarks on love and its nature.
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All the good ones are taken.
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If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
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Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
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This constant is always zero.
- Van Den Bossche Jochen
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Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
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The best things in the world are free - and worth every penny of it.
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The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
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Virginity can be cured.
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Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
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Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
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A man in love is incomplete until he has married.
Then he's finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love.
- Benjamin Disraeli


Here are some sarcastic quotes which are good food for thought.
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What you have become is the price you paid to get what you used to want.
- Mignon McLaughlin
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People that pay for things never complain.
It's the guy you give something to that you can't please.
- Will Rogers
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A half truth is a whole lie.
- Yiddish Proverb
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Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.
- Cynthia Nelms
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Opportunities are like sunsets.
If you wait too long, you miss them.
- William Arthur Ward
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What are the proper proportions of a maxim?
A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.
- Mark Twain
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An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world.
A pessimist fears that this is true.
- Robert Oppenheimer
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The more that learn to read, the less learn how to make a living.
That's one thing about a little education.
It spoils you for actual work.
The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.
- Will Rogers
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By Gray Pilgrim

Basic needs

In my counselling experience, I have identified five basic needs men expect their wives to fulfill and five needs women expect their husbands to meet. 
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Time and again these ten needs have surfaced as I have helped literally thousands of couples improve their troubled marriages. 
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Although each individual may perceive his or her needs differently, the consistency with which these two sets of five categories have surfaced to explain marital problems impresses me.

The man’s five most basic needs in marriage tend to be:

1. Sexual fulfillment

2. Recreational companionship

3. An attractive spouse

4. Domestic support

5. Admiration

The woman’s five most basic needs in marriage tend to be:

1. Affection

2. Conversation

3. Honesty and openness

4. Financial support

5. Family commitment

These categories may not apply equally to everyone. 
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Some men and women will look at their respective lists and say, quite honestly, “I don’t share this or that need.” 
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Sometimes people will see things on the list of the opposite sex that will strike them as more applicable to themselves. 
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Long experience has taught me, however, that the vast majority of each sex do agree that the needs I have listed are their deepest ones when it comes to the marriage relationship.”

“In marriages that fail to meet those needs, I have seen, strikingly and alarmingly, how consistently married people choose the same pattern to satisfy their unmet needs: the extramarital affair. 

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People wander into affairs with astonishing regularity, in spite of whatever strong moral or religious convictions they may hold. 

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Why? 

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Once a spouse lacks fulfilment of any of the five needs, it creates a thirst that must be quenched. 
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If changes do not take place within the marriage to care for that need, the individual will face the powerful temptation to fill it outside of marriage.
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Don’t shoot me if you don’t agree.
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I’m just the messenger. 
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I do think this is something to think about. 
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Yes, it’s easy for us to say that people cheat because “they want to.” 
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However, I don’t think most people go into marriage with the idea of being unfaithful to their spouse.
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We may not like it, but maybe there is something to what Dr. Harley is saying.

Just Redneck sillies................

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as 'Hillbillies.'

You must now refer to them as 'Appalachian-Americans'

And, furthermore, politically correct terminology will now be used when discussing women...

1. She is not a 'babe or a 'chick' - She is a 'breasted American'

2 She is not 'easy' - She is 'horizontally accessible'

3. She is not a 'dumb blonde' - She is a 'light haired detour off the information superhighway'

4. She has not 'been around' - She is a 'previously enjoyed companion'

5 She does not 'nag' you - She becomes 'verbally repetitive'

6. She is not a 'two-bit hooker' - She is a 'low cost provider'

...as well as men:

1. He does not have a 'beer gut' - He has developed a 'liquid grain storage facility'

2. He is not a 'bad dancer' - He is 'overly Caucasian'

3. He does not 'get lost all the time' - He 'investigates alternative destinations'

4. He is not 'balding' - He is in 'follicle regression'

5. He does not act like a 'total ass' - He develops a case of 'rectal-cranial inversion'

6. It's not his 'crack' you see hanging out of his pants - It's 'trouser cleavage'

Lies

People in the West average 4 lies per day
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That is 1460 per year
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Or how about 88,000 by the time we are sixty!
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The most common lie is "I am fine"
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Lying in little things is thought to be fine
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Part of the modern way of life in fact
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However it sets a way of thinking into a habit
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We can say that saying "I am fine" when you are not is just avoiding inflicting your bad mood onto someone else 
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Or that you do not wish to share something with them
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Sounds fine except that it most certainly makes it more likely that to avoid or obscure other things in the future your choice will be more likely to lie
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Then before you know it you arrive at 4 lies per day
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Count yours today
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Just little things we say, however they set a trend in motion
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A trend that is not good news over time
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So for the record and to remind ourselves what we are talking about
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A lie is a type of deception in the form of an untruthful statement
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Especially with the intention to deceive others
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Often with the further intention to maintain a secret or reputation
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Protect someone's feelings or to avoid a punishment or repercussion for one's actions. 
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To lie is to state something that one knows to be false or that one does not honestly believe to be true with the intention that a person will take it for the truth. 
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A liar is a person who is lying
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Who has previously lied
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Or who tends by nature to lie repeatedly 
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Even when not necessary
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Is this you?
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If so then time to tidy up your act 

Going going gone........

Notice how less and less things are repaired

More and more are thrown away

Fewer and fewer could be repaired by us even if we wanted to

Cheap clothes we wear and throw away

Shoes sometimes we repair yet often again now we throw away

Computers, watches, TVs, radios, games machines, and the rest

Once broken we throw them away

I remember the pleasure of fixing things

The timeless absorption in fixing whatever

So in a very real sense we have lost something important

Not to mention the millions of repair jobs that disappeared as well

Talking about this we have not mentioned the value and pleasure we used to derive in taking care of things

The pleasure of looking after our possessions

How many feel that today?
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Your new computer soon becomes a needed tool
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The car something you sit in during endless traffic jams
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Cell phone after the first pleasure just another item to charge
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Books they used to be nice to look at and to hold, read even
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Soon to be an e book or tablet computer
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Cooking for most that went years ago
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Just heat up whatever
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Buy ready made whatever, order a takeaway
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Do you notice the taste or has that gone too?
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Ironing now there's a therapy, come to think of it how much does anyone iron any more?
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Our lives changed 
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Our own actions in looking after and fixing things disappearing faster than we can notice
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All replaced by things others do for us
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Ninety nine percent by strangers
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Often unknown voices in call centres
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Then of course everything has to be paid for
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Jobs and lives of doing things for ourselves going, going, gone

The theory of Intelligence

I don't think I've ever heard the concept explained any better than this ..

'Well you see, Norm, it's like this . ..... 

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. 

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And when the heard is hunted, 

it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. 

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This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, 

because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving 

by the regular killing of the weakest members. 

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In much the same way, 

the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.

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Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. 

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But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. 

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In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, 

making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. 

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And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

Olive oil update

Important, New Information about Olive Oil for the summer season
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Extra-virgin olive oil is a good monounsaturated fat that is also well-known for its health benefits.
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It's a staple in healthful diets such as Mediterranean-style diets.
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However, it's important to realize it is not good for cooking.
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It should really only be used cold, typically drizzled on salads and other food.
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Due to its chemical structure and a large amount of unsaturated fats, cooking makes extra-virgin olive oil very susceptible to oxidative damage.
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However extra-virgin olive oil has a significant draw-back even when used cold – it's still extremely perishable!
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As it turns out, extra-virgin olive oil contains chlorophyll that accelerates decomposition and makes the oil go rancid rather quickly.
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Use almost tasteless, semi-refined olive oil rather than extra-virgin olive oil for this reason.
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If you're like most people, you're probably leaving your bottle of olive oil right on the counter, opening and closing it multiple times a week.
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Remember, any time the oil is exposed to air and/or light, it oxidizes, and as it turns out, the chlorophyll in extra virgin olive oil accelerates the oxidation of the unsaturated fats.
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Clearly, consuming spoiled oil (of any kind) will likely do more harm than good.
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Treating it with the same care as you would other sensitive omega-3 oils:
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Keep in a cool, dark place
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Purchase smaller bottles rather than larger to ensure freshness
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Immediately replace the cap after each pour
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To help protect extra virgin olive oil from oxidation, put one drop of astaxanthin into the bottle.
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You can purchase astaxanthin, which is an extremely potent antioxidant, in soft gel capsules.
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Just prick it with a pin and squeeze the capsule into the oil.
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The beautiful thing about using astaxanthin instead of another antioxidant such as vitamin E, is that it is naturally red, whereas vitamin E is colorless, so you can tell the oil still has astaxanthin in it by its color.
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As the olive oil starts to pale in color, you know it's time to throw it away.
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You can also use one drop of lutein in your olive oil.
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Lutein imparts an orange color and will also protect against oxidation.
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Again, once the orange color fades, your oil is no longer protected against rancidity and should be thrown away.
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This method is yet another reason for buying small bottles.
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If you have a large bottle, you may be tempted to keep it even though it has begun to oxidize.

Solar storms

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It is estimated that solar storms could create $2tn 'global Katrina'

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In particular solar storms pose threat to satellites and power grids

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The threat of solar storms that could wreak havoc on the world's electronic systems must be taken more seriously, the UK government's chief scientist has warned. 

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A severe solar storm could damage satellites and power grids around the world, he said, leading to a "global Katrina" costing the world's economies as much as $2tn (£1.2tn).

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This issue of space weather has got to be taken seriously," said John Beddington, the UK government's chief scientific adviser, speaking at the annual maating of the American Association for the Advancement of Scinece (AAAS) in Washington DC. 

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We've had a relatively quiet [period] in space weather and we can expect that quiet period to end. 

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Over the same time, over that period, the potential vulnerability of our systems has increased dramatically

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Whether it's the smart grid in our electricity systems or the ubiquitous use of GPS in just about everything these days."

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"It's reasonable to expect there will be more [solar storm] events," said Jane Lubchenco, administrator of the US National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. 

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The watchwords are predict and prepare.

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The sun's activity goes up and down on a roughly 11-year cycle, and the next period of maximum activity is expected in 2013.

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A solar storm starts with a solar flare that is accompanied by a burst of electromagnetic radiation that, when it arrives at Earth, ionises the outer atmosphere. 

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On the ground, we would be safe but GPS satellites and others would be affected.

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"GPS is a critical part of almost everything we do," said Thomas Bogdan, director of the Space Weather Prediction Centre in Colorado. 

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The ubiquitous need for an uninterrupted power supply, satellite-delivered services – every time you go to a gas station and purchase a gallon of gas with your credit card, that's a satellite transaction taking place – and, of course, aviation and communications. 

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We have made our lives increasingly dependent on these things, but each of them carries vulnerabilities to space weather with them."

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Around 10-20 minutes after the initial flare would come a burst of energetic protons. "

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Now at risk would be satellites at geostationary orbit – if they do not have sufficient shielding around their sensitive electronics, they could be subject to problems with the internal computational activities," said Bogdan.

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Around 10-30 hours later, a "coronal mass ejection" would hit the Earth's magnetosphere and cause electric currents to surge along oil pipelines and high-tension electricity lines. 

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This could cause blackouts such as the one that occurred in Quebec in 1989. 

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Around large parts of the world, people would see a lightshow in the sky similar to the aurora borealis.

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Lubchenco said last week's solar flare illustrated the importance of paying close attention to solar weather. "

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That was the strongest solar flare in four years," she said. "

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As a consequence, airlines rerouted flights from polar regions in anticipation of the possibility that their radio communications would not be operational. 

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That resulted in individuals being bumped from those flights, increased cost to the airlines because of longer routes and more use of fuel.

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Bogdan said the time it takes for the worst aspects of a solar storm to travel between the sun to Earth gives authorities a window of opportunity to get ready for the coming electromagnetic disturbances. 

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Power companies could prepare by hardening transformers at substations and installing capacitors to soak up current surges.

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The most severe solar storm on record occurred in 1859, but there was little electric infrastructure in place around the world at the time. 

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The storm did send currents running along the newly built telegraph systems, however. "

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They were so strong that the operators of the telegraphs could disconnect their batteries and still start sending messages," said Bogdan.

Alok Jia - Guardian

Nasty or nice Human Nature?

We all know about human nature

We have been told over and over how basically wicked we are

It is just human nature

And so on and so forth many variations on the theme that human nature is not very nice

Do we really know human nature though?

Or do we unthinkingly trot out this expression without thought as to whether or not it is true?

Long ago man had an innate divinty

Man was part of nature

Part of God if you will

Native American Indians lived in and as a part of nature

They knew a harmony we have seldom experienced

Then along came the separation

Man was no longer in any sense an incarnation of divine life

But suddenly he was of another nature entirely

An earthly, mortal nature

And the earth itself was now clay.

Matter and spirit had begun to separate.

Springing out of this we have in the Jewish, Christian, and Islamic religions preaching a concept of sinning against God

A nice little earner, which runs to this day

A concept that makes us all sinners

Add to this the dubious ridiculous idea of original sin

Ever thought why would any loving God have you born guilty and full of original sin?

No way, none ever did

A nice little earner though for all the Churches

This teaching is entirely separate from nature's order or harmony

And not only separate, but often directly opposed

Spirituality came to mean conquering the flesh

Whose desires were opposed to the elevation of the spirit

A program to overcome our unruly inner nature

Or as we started out our "human nature."

No it is not naturally like this

There is no original sin

No there is no natural separation of body, mind and spirit

Yes, over many generations there is all kinds of brainwashing

Yes, religion as practised today would still have us believe these warped things

So think about your nature

Your human nature is fine

Start thinking about it that way please

Let go of these false ideas
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Religious institutions have come to represent the precise opposite of what the original rites, myths, and teachings intended.
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Which was to bring us back to a state of harmony with the natural order
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Especially with our natural selves

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Our true being.
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Our  true human nature
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Despite the best efforts of social institutions to coopt religion to its purposes of control
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The original intent and message of the religious founders lives on
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Often buried beneath layers of dogma and interpretation.
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Every once in a while reformers see through the dogma and remind us of the principles of the Original Religion, animism.
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In Jesus's case, the teaching was almost immediately turned into its exact opposite:
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"I am God and so are you" was turned into "Jesus is God and you are not," recreating the same division and duality that Jesus taught against.
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This and other religious teachings in other religions try to bury our better natural natures
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Start living as if you love life and yourself
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And your fellow man
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Let go of guilt and hypocrisy
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Enough of the human created nasty human nature rubbish