Sunday, January 17, 2010

Slice of life

Overheard in supermarket

Mother to child "If you don't stop crying you will get no supper"

Child to mother "I don't care I am not hungry"

Child is holding half eaten snickers bar at the time of this exchange

Mother loses battle exit child and mother

At this level of dialogue it is clear that the mother is fighting a losing battle with her daughter

Children are smart and quickly learn that saying no, shouting or screaming can get them what they want

Others know that if they argue their parents will give in very quickly

Blackmail is the weapon of choice for many children

Clearly many then take this into adult life

When asked why they agreed to do something they do not like or want to do people will often answer "because"..............without stopping to think why they have given in

Why they do not resist unreasonable behaviour

Whether it is from your partner or colleagues or boss

Look at your patterns

Are you blackmailed by others?

Are you?

Do you give in?

If you do and have long stopped noticing that you do so

Time to notice

Time to understand that by always giving in you have lost some freedom and self respect

Giving in to bullying is not good for our health

Over time it can burst into resentment

Anger and violence can one day erupt

If you give in then take stock

Decide if giving in is really what you want to do

If it is not then consider how you will resist next time

Explain that no, you do not intend to do whatever it is

Explain that you are not doing it now or in the future

If the other party gets angry invite them to address this issue in themselves

Explain that you are tired of being used

Enough can be enough

It is your life

Do not give chunks of it away to others who want to use you unless this is really what you want to do

Slice of life

Do not give it away to others

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